There was something special in her looks, inexplicable and wonderfully beautiful, I startled almost intoxicated, and unwittingly asked myself: Is this the ideal women? what power caused those sad, thoughtful eyes to shine with such glow.
A familiarity, like I have seen her before but where? asked my pitiful soul, oh! such vivacity in her face. what summoned the blood to those pale, sunken cheeks? Maybe she is from another world.
I envied this short-lived exhilaration, and I regret the momentary beauty faded so quickly , so irretrievably, that it flashed before me so deceptively and in vain I regret this because there was not time for me even to fall in love with her…
All the time I was walking besides her like a damned soul, with bated breaths, and my heart beating violently while she seems not to care absorbed in her own profound soul filled with pride and prejudice for which my heart sank in a deadening melancholy and I left her in her beauty and pride like the clouds after raining left the garden full of flowers to bloom with life.
The Ideal Beauty!
I cherished her upbringing with such delicacy and love that one can say she is no more less than a princess. perhaps Not like me a wretched soul with all the inflicting sorrows. Her handsome face reminds me of a Turkish actress I have seen in a serial long time ago.
Her eyes were mysterious, what caused those tender features of her face flared with passion? the confidence in her spasmodic figure, her legs the way she put one on other. Her lips so pinkish and soft like a strawberry one wants to chew it to the last bit. A simplicity in her gentle beauty.
The words out of her mouth are so precisely well-spoken like they are refined and filtered with a gifted perfection. Whenever she says something it has such sweetness like someone showered me with honey, I can feel it all over me the encompassing never-ending delicacy which turns every disgusting thing I have before into a wonderful piece of art.
Such an ecstasy when she looks at me, my heart flutters out of my trembling body with all that is evil in me. I feel disguised and immoral. I envy why I’m not like her. Well accomplished and such completeness. She clearly understands everything. I feel myself much lower in front of her. I even hate my own being. I wish I could be much better than I’m. she revolts my dark soul to become utterly virtues. Suddenly the whole world changes, life feels like a heavy burden as its meaning has been lost.
What a spell she put on me, I have never seen such a beautiful girl in my life. The impression of her on me is so strong I feel like a filth, a dirt and she is like a precious shoe that must not walk on such a muddy ground as I’m.
Ah! when she laughs, her sparkling laughter has such liveliness it can even bring the dead to life. Such a vitality in her. She has given me a hope that truly there is more to life. I for a moment forgot all my worries like I entered into a heaven on earth, just one desire left that is to worship her, just to look at her and reflect on the world, how little is the world in her presence, she has brought a new, a better world filled with love, compassion and hope.
I’m but an impressionist, this is my job to see the best in one’s soul. Get the best out of it and the let the damned world know what really happiness is, how these little things can make a huge difference in life, her smile, the soft, thin cheeks and the fondness one finds in her eyes. Oh! It’s like I have lived a hundred lives and still not satisfied.
So your life is going to change girl? being a doctor is not easy as it looks like said her uncle, a stout middle-aged man, she sank at her seat timidly with her expressionless face. she is passionate and can do anything, its my daughter for god-sake do i look like giving up on her? said her mother profoundly. while she sits there in a stillest hour like some doll immovable just her presence was enough to run thousands arguments on her mighty ambitions.
Her Vain Glory!
It was a bright sunny day in the University, she was standing outside her block blossoming like a flower, her vulnerability was like that of a child lost in wilderness. I accompany her and her glowing face brightened my heart all dark and gloomy.
she exclaimed! “I wish if I could leave this place, I miss my home look where my parents had thrown me into, Umm she paused and nodding her head. She added, into this “pind” a hell on earth. Oh! don’t say that, everything will be alright, I replied. ‘You know what I think people who study commerce has lesser brains as compared to sciences student, for what is the value of humanities subjects? I’m getting a medical degree to have a major guy in my wedlock! she said disdainfully, ha-ha-ha! I laughed at her mighty ambitions, well! that was an insult on me. I cried instantly, then she laughed and said, ‘that was not what i mean’, and we walked for hours but her words mattered really even the degrading one’s even to be insulted by her was a blessing in disguise.
I have no intentions to make any sort of acquaintance with her at any rate. She is going to be the leading light. A flower of hope on mountain crushed with pain and despair. How my melancholy stays me awake on this cursed night.
He risked all for her, why is he so much changed without any indication from the lady herself. Who avoids him. Why she is arrogant and self-obsessed? because as the Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard wrote, “That a girl in the company of her same-sex mates destroys all womanliness in her. She is no longer in her truest natural form as she was made. But became something else.”
This girl had thrown me out of little paradise, I was happy if not the unhappiest one. books and writing, I was lost in my imaginary world. She put me out of the fantasy world into the real word. Such cruel and unforgiving world it is and sadly, it has nothing good to offer me.
I woke up thinking about her cursing myself she was on my nerves oh! my lonely heart your forever doomed.
What an Art. Just imitate her, adore her. Nothing more than that, I will get through it like all the times but this golden beauty has left a wound which can never be healed.
For she was the women of my fantasy world, and the ideal must remain ideal out of any man’s reach.
I swear to god as soon as I had written her in words, she will be long gone from my memory into the enigma. into a black-hole.
Her sickness unto death.
For one even fears to go to sleep not see her in dreams for that will be unbearable for such unworthy soul as mine: she must remain an ideal, yes! An Ideal woman.
For out of anyone’s reach. For superior and close to Art itself. for if Leonardo da Vinci would have been alive and he would have painted her face right away without a second thought. Cause such a jubilant glowing face had all the wonders and simple beauty to appreciate in our daily life’s.
A stalwart always unwelcomed, the alienated timid boy in whole university. The only good thing was her, his reason to be in the mass crowd was her existence. He wanted her sunlight to shine on him give a reason to live and be proud. But his dark despair reveals covered under his skin. He was an impostor. Nothing of him was real
It was another version of himself. He couldn’t recognized. Rest of the world doesn’t matter even the things which was the most important things in his life suddenly lost its meaning. Now it has a new life and a new desire just to get close to her. For he would do anything, anything and anything.
Its only part of my creative writing. I’m just practicing, no such people exist as I mention above it’s all Imaginary.
thankyou
The Portrait of an Artist 